


the one where everyone (but Jen) knows

by alicemurphy



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Abe saves the day, F/F, Jen needs to get with the program, Oblivious!Jen, everyone knows they're a couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24406702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicemurphy/pseuds/alicemurphy
Summary: Every single person Jen knows thinks that her and Judy are together, and she has to keep telling them that they're really not.She should probably stop doing that.
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 66
Kudos: 452





	1. The Boys

It’s almost Christmas and, with less people buying houses around the holidays and Judy’s assisted living facility still needing her there, Jen is the one stuck at home with the boys during the day.

She’s really trying to relax and enjoy it, like Judy told her to, and not let Charlie’s typical attitude and Henry’s boundless energy get to her. She’s really, really trying. But honestly if Henry asks one more irritating question, she’s not going to be held responsible for her actions.

“Mom?” _Oh, here we go…_

“Yes Boop?”

“So are you and Judy like… a couple now?”

…

Jen just can’t stop the “what the fuck” that tears its way out of her.

She’d been bracing herself to hold back her frustration and half-heartedly answer whatever ridiculous thing Henry asked, but that? It was the very last thing she could have expected to come out of her youngest son's mouth in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon.

“What the… what… no of course… where the fuck… what??”

Henry’s eyebrows bunch together and even Charlie lifts his eyes from his computer screen at Jen’s reaction. Their mom is doing a perfect impression of a fish out of water.

Jen’s mind is completely frozen. The words ‘you’, ‘Judy’ and ‘couple’ are looping in her mind and time must be passing but she can’t do anything but stand there blankly, attempting to process.

“Erm, Mom?” Charlie eventually says, trying to get Jen back to the land of the living so she can answer Henry’s question. He’s actually pretty interested in what Jen might say, whether she will tell them the truth or not now that she’s been asked point blank.

Charlie’s interruption seems to work though, shaking Jen back to reality. _Well, as real as this fucking ridiculous situation can be,_ she thinks.

“Sorry, I’m sorry boop, it’s just… where did that come from? Why would you think Judy and I are a couple?”

“Maybe because you fucking act like you are” Charlie responds before Henry gets a chance to speak.

“No, we’re not. And don’t curse.”

“Surrreee Mom. Totally believe you.”

“No seriously. We are not together” states Jen resolutely.

That has Charlie actually making eye contact for once. She must have been convincing, because next thing Jen knows Charlie is standing in front of her saying, “What the fuck, Mom, you’re not together? For real? You’re not just trying to hide stuff from us again?”

“I’m not hiding anything. Judy is my friend. Just my friend. What has gotten into you two? Where did this come from?”

“Judy’s part of our family now right? Judy is like our other mom, and so it just makes sense for both our Mom’s to be together, right?” Henry says innocently.

Jen looks confused again. Charlie realises he’s going to have to put this more simply or they’re going to be here forever because his mom just _will not get it._

“He has a point, Mom. Think about what it looks like from the outside. Judy’s been living here for like an entire year. She cooks and cleans and helps with your kids. She's literally your _wife_.”

And Jen suddenly gets why maybe Henry would have asked.

“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t think about how confusing it must be for you to have someone here caring after you just like your Dad did. But you know that Judy isn’t the same as him right? Judy and I aren’t a couple like your Dad and I were. She’s just a friend.

"But… it’s okay that she’s here, right? You two want her here too, don’t you?”

“Of course! I love Judy!” Henry rushes to exclaim, and he goes back to his video game.

Jen looks pleased with herself. She feels satisfied that she figured out why the boys could have been confused and knows she set them straight. They really are just friends.

Charlie just sighs, grabs his laptop and walks away. This is _so_ not his problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been writing a fic that's literally the exact opposite of this one all week and trying to write angsty dialouge is a nightmare. Somehow this appeared instead?
> 
> I almost have it finished so the rest should be up in the next few days.


	2. Ben

Ben is the next one to question Jen and Judy’s relationship.

Jen almost has a heart attack when she opens the door with Judy next to her, as always, and _Steve_ is standing there.

Except it isn’t Steve, it’s Ben, the ‘semi-identical twin’. _Honestly, what bullshit is this._

It’s a miracle all Jen does it faint and doesn’t blurt out something idiotic like ‘I just killed you how the fuck are you standing right at my front fucking door?’.

And then Henry's awake and downstairs and Judy, like the total angel that she is, is immediately focused on him, helping him make breakfast like they're not trying to cover up a murder.

Which leaves Jen to walk Ben out.

“Can I just say that it is so nice to see Judy finally happy with someone that isn’t _Steve,_ ” Ben begins as soon as they are alone.

Jen is so pleased that someone else says ‘Steve’ with as much distain as she always does that she almost misses what Ben had really said.

“I mean, it would have been great to have her in the family, but Judy deserves so much more than my jerk of a brother. I love him, but he can be _such_ an asshole. She deserves someone like you.”

Jen is so confused.

“Oh, and your family! She seems so happy here!” Ben exclaims, gesturing to the wall next to the front door, where a giant framed photo of the family of four sits. Jen put up such a fight when Judy brought it home - it’s far too cheesy for Jen to ever admit but she absolutely adores it. It's gross.

Jen manages to smile as Ben walks away. The anxiety of seeing Steve’s fucking clone and trying to keep all their secrets hidden was already so overwhelming. And yet, inexplicably, all Jen can focus on is how another person seems to think her and Judy are together.

At least with her boys, it was easily explainable, confusing family dynamics and all.

But Ben has literally been in her house for all of five fucking minutes and he somehow assumed the same thing.

Yes, he knew that Judy was living there, with her, obviously, because he sought her out at her new house. And Jen did sort of remember Judy mentioning something about ‘our boys’ when she was coming to on the couch before Judy (and Ben) were all over her checking to see if she was okay. 

Jen cannot come up with an explanation for why a practical stranger would think such a ridiculous and fucking false thing.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking on Ben’s part? Yeah, that makes sense. He cares about Judy, and wants her to be happy and moved on from Steve, and so he hopes Judy is happy with someone else? Yeah that makes total fucking sense.

Well done Jennifer. Explained away again. 

_This better not fucking happen again._


	3. Christopher

It just keeps happening.

One night, Lorna has the boys and Judy is out at some fucking weird hippy, crystal thing and Christopher turns up on her doorstep with a basket of wine and non-vegan snacks. Jen’s pretty sure Judy arranged for him to ‘drop by’, because apparently, she can’t even have one fucking night on her own anymore.

They’re already two bottles deep, filters long gone, when suddenly Chris says,

“Hey, so…. what’s the sex like”

Jen, of course, just laughs, because when the fuck was the last time she had sex??

“What sex? Are you seriously asking about my fucking vibrator now?” Jen hisses.

“What? No! Put scary angry Jen away. I’m talking about the wild and passionate sex that you and Judy are having that you are going to tell me all about, right now, sparing no details please and thank you”

Jen chokes. Uncontrollably. Like, Chris starts trying to think where he last saw his phone so he can maybe call an ambulance.

Thankfully, that isn’t necessary, but it was closer than the realtor would have liked. Having to explain to Judy that he killed her girlfriend by asking about their sex-life would _not_ have been fun.

Eventually, Jen’s spluttering calms down and she’s left facing a very interested Christopher, eyebrow raised, waiting for her to explain what the fuck just happened (and hopefully still spill their bedroom exploits of course.)

Jen truly, genuinely does not know what to say. Not a single fucking word will come to her mind.

Maybe there really is a god, because the door opens right then, before Jen can torturously stumble her way through explaining that they’ve never actually done _anything_ , and, like a knight in shining armour, Judy Hale is home.

“Saved by the bell,” Chris quickly whispers to Jen, before getting up to actually track down his phone.

Judy immediately takes his former seat beside the blonde, curling into her shoulder and closing her eyes whilst Jen instinctively starts combing her fingers through her friend’s hair.

Chris gives Jen a look, saying _this is not over_ and _you will tell me_ and somehow also _are you really going to try to deny you’re not together, look at you!_

Not that Jen gets any of that though. Jen takes the look to mean _goodbye_ and partially removes her hand from Judy’s hair to half wave goodnight before he walks out the room.

Maybe this time she can just blame the wine??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next up... Lorna


	4. LORNA

Of course, that isn’t the end of it either. It seems that every single person Jen knows is under the impression that she is fucking married to Judy Hale.

Why can’t people get that they’re just good friends?

Karen comes around one day with more of her fucking awful orange wine, asking if everything is okay after the ‘lover’s quarrel’ she heard the other night.

Then the creepy exterminator guy that gave them both nightmares about rats eating through the freezer to chomp on Steve joins in. He dares to say “you’re lucky. Your wife is so fucking hot, brah”, which makes Jen want to both vehemently deny their marital status, as always, but maybe after punching the guy in the fucking throat.

Even fucking Perez sort of implies that she thinks they are together when she asks her why the fuck she would take Judy back after she admitted killing her husband with her car (although maybe Jen is just so used to people assuming that now that it’s fucking leaked into her imagination, who fucking knows anymore.)

The last straw, though, is Lorna. Everyone else seemed to accept that that they’re not actually dating, at least after Jen had spent a couple of minutes putting forth her argument. Not Lorna though. Fucking Lorna won’t believe a single fucking word Jen says.

It’s the most awkward conversation of Jen’s life.

The ‘good friends’ have gone to pick the boys up after finally giving into Lorna’s complaining and letting them stay with their grandmother for a few days. Judy, the lucky fucker, gets to stay in the car outside whilst Jen heads to knock on the door.

Charlie answers, quickly murmuring a “oh hey mom” before going back to the kitchen where he and Henry are clearly eating breakfast. Leaving Jen stuck making conversation and trying not to give into the urge to smash her head against the wall. Or better yet, smash fucking Lorna’s head into it. _Shit._

“Hello Jennifer.” _Here we go. Please eat quickly, boys..._

“Lorna”

“That’s a new colour on you” Lorna states without compliment. Jen looks down at the grey shirt she’s wearing and fights the urge to roll her eyes or put a fist through her mother-in-law’s nose.

“Hmm” is all she can offer.

Lorna begins again; “the boys have had a wonderful time here with me. They should really be staying here more often; they need a loving grandmother’s influence in their lives.”

“I’m sure they’ve had a great time, Lorna. Thank you for having them,” says Jen through gritted teeth. She cannot fucking _stand_ this woman.

She turns slightly back towards the car, catching Judy’s eye to try to communicate _the boys are running late_ and _it might be a while,_ and maybe even _help, I’m about to commit another murder; better grab the fucking shovel?_

“She’s very pretty,” offers Lorna upon noticing where Jen’s attention has wandered.

“Yeah, she is,” Jen instinctively responds, softening despite herself. She’s still looking at Judy, trying not to think too much into how immediate her agreement is.

“She’s a very… unusual sort of person, isn’t she. Where did you find her again?” And back to the older woman her attention goes, already ready to defend her friend from whatever Lorna’s about to spurt.

“We met at that grief support group you told me to go to. The one your Pastor runs. You already know this Lorna…”

“Yes, yes, I see. And she was homeless at the time?”

“What? No. Why the fuck would you…”

“The boys told me she’s living with you now. Seems very…quick. I wish you would keep me informed with these things.” Lorna interrupts. _What the hell is this bitch trying to say about Judy now?_

“You already knew that she was living in the guest house” it is not possible to stop Jen's eyes rolling anymore, politeness be damned.

“Yes, well”, begins the mother-in-law from hell, only for her to get distracted by her favourite activity. “Oh no, I just noticed your roots. You need a new hairdresser, Jennifer. I’ll book you an appointment with Alejandro”

“No, I’m good.” Nevertheless, the blonde’s left-hand flies to her hair, ruffling it a little before she realises what she’s doing. _Damn this woman_. “What are you really trying to get at?”

“You know the boys won’t stop talking about her. Henry especially -” _Aww I love how Henry loves Judy, it’s so adorable_. “ - I don’t know that I like such a strange woman having such an influence on my grandsons -” _Well I don’t know that I like you having any influence on them at all you crazy bitch. “ -_ Especially with her history of violence and all.”

Jen swears to god that her heart stops. _What the fuck, does Lorna know about Ted? How could she know? Did Perez fucking tell her? The little shit. Oh my god what if she tells the boys? Shit shit shit shit shit..._

“I don’t know how you could trust someone that could take a golf club to a car like that around such innocent minds.”

Oh thank fucking God. Except, wait, Lorna is insulting Judy? Lovely, angelic, perfect Judy? She actually thinks _Judy_ could be dangerous. _Oh, someone’s about to die._

“Calm your tits, Lorna. Judy isn’t dangerous. I told you. It was all big mistake. She was worried that I would get in trouble because some idiot crashed his car and she was trying to protect me. I thought we cleared that up”

Her mother-in-law waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh... right. I still don’t understand why you would choose to move on with someone like _her_ ”

Well that throws Jen right off. _Not fucking Lorna too..._

...

“I'm not ‘moving on' with Judy. We're not together.”

“You can tell me the truth you know. I guess it had to happen eventually. Ted was never as important in your life as he is in mine. _I'll_ never move on.” _Are those actual tears in her eyes?? Who is this monster._

“Seriously, Lorna. I am not with Judy. I haven’t, you know, ‘moved on' with anyone" admits Jen cautiously. Which apparently just pisses Lorna off.

“I don’t know why you always insist on lying to me, Jennifer. It’s really quite hurtful."

“Look, I don’t know what you want me to say, we’re not secretly shaking up and just trying to hide it from you.” Jen is done with this conversation now. _How fucking long does it take to eat a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, right, we're at dear old grandmother's house. They’re probably eating a 5 course banquet._

Lorna looks so smug; it takes carefully reminding herself that her two sons seeing her hurt their grandmother might be detrimental to their childhood development to stop her from ripping the woman’s throat out. She just knows that whatever is going to come next is not going to be good.

“Really? Because Henry said that she has been having ‘sleepovers’ in your room.”

And damnit, Jen can’t even deny that, because Judy has been sleeping on Ted’s former side of her bed more often than not the past few days (okay weeks. Weeks and weeks and weeks. More like months really.)

“It’s just, like, a friendly thing, okay?” she says it so meekly that even Jen herself doesn’t find it particularly convincing.

“Little Henry talks about her like he considers her another mother.” _I know it’s so sweet._

Except Lorna clearly didn’t find it as sweet, instead continuing to say; “tell me, were you really that desperate for help with the children that you let the first person that came into your bed take over your parental responsibilities? You should have asked me for more help if you were struggling.”

At this point, Jen is so over trying to correct Lorna. It’s not even slightly in her mind. Anger is very quickly building, rising to where it’s going to overflow if the woman in front of her insults Judy (or herself. Probably mostly Judy though) one more time.

Lorna, of course, does not stop. She has tears in her eyes again, ready for another performance as ‘perfect woman who is done wrong by everyone except her perfect son.'

“Honestly, how could you do this to my grandsons, to _me???_ Didn’t you think how it would affect us when you were rushing to replace my dear sweet Ted?”

“JESUS CHRIST LORNA, THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU.” Jen practically screams. “My relationship with Judy is nothing to do with Ted, and definitely nothing to do with you.”

Apparently she shouldn't have said that, because she can see in Lorna’s eyes that the woman has taken it as an admission that they are, in fact, secretly together. 

“I knew it,” the woman before her states, all the over the top crying immediately gone. “Well, don’t expect me to be spending any time with her. I’ll send the boys out to you once they’re ready Jennifer”.

And with that, Jen is outside with the door shut in her face.

_Well th_ _is time didn’t go so fucking well…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love and comments! 💖


	5. Abe

Jen doesn’t notice that not once, in all the times people have told her that her and Judy are together and she has denied it, has Judy ever been within hearing distance.

It isn’t until Jen finishes work early one afternoon and decides to surprise Judy by picking her up from work that she starts to realise that maybe she really is the _only_ person who thinks that they are just friends.

She wanders into the assisted living facility, not really sure where to go having only been inside once before (when she had apologised for getting so mad after finding out Steve was still alive – _ha not anymore asshole –_ and invited Judy to live with her).

“I’m looking for Judy Hale, do you know where she is?” she asks a couple of residents before giving up and going to search for her herself

Eventually she stumbles into what is surely the art room, but there is still no Judy in sight. _Where the fuck are you Judes? Please don’t make me have to talk to people…_

She’s trying to get close enough to the photo frame by the paints in the corner of the room to see if it’s actually that picture she took of Henry and Charlie she took a couple of weeks ago like he thinks it might be, when she hears someone calling out to her.

“Are you looking for Judy?”

“Yeah, actually I am. Any idea where she is?” she replies to the room, not really sure who asked.

“She’s around here somewhere. I’m sure she’ll back here in a moment if you’d like to wait.” Jen sees an older guy at the other side of the room, a friendly look on his face, and she can already guess who he is.

“You must be Abe” she says, taking a seat at the long table next to him.

“My whole life. And you must be Judy’s girl, Jen isn’t it?”

Jen hmms, not reading much into it, offering a smile instead. _Judy’s been talking about her._

“That I am. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I could say the same. She doesn’t shut up about you and that family of yours lately. It’s nice to see her this happy for a change.”

Jen grins at that. It’s always nice to hear that Judy is as happy with their life as she is.

“Well we’re very lucky to have her.”

“You and me both. Although, you a little more than me, I would guess.”

Jen looks at him curiously, tilting her head. She doesn’t really get what he means.

“You know, with you two going steady all this time” he says eventually after Jen’s confusion starts to become awkward.

It doesn’t help.

If anything, Jen looks even more puzzled. She should probably be used to people saying this shit to her by now, but it’s still a shock. _Especially from someone so close to Judy_ , some deep part of her thinks.

“Oh erm, we’re not… I’m mean… that’s not true…” _Oh come on, fucking make word sounds Jennifer_.

She eventually produces a weak “we’re just friends”.

Abe looks shocked.

“We’re really not dating, I swear” continues Jen, ready to start her by now well-rehearsed defence of their relationship.

“You’re not?”

The bewilderment on Abe’s face is enough to stop Jen’s instinctual denial.

Jen’s starting to feel nervous and she’s not really sure why. She feels like she shouldn’t be as insistent about their friendship as normal - for the first time, it feels sort of wrong.

“No. I get that a lot though. I don’t really know why. Everyone _always_ seems to think we’re together” she says, trying to make a joke out of the last part.

It clearly doesn’t land well. Abe starts to look concerned, frown forming and brows furrowing.

“What do you think about Judy, sweetheart?” he asks after a moment, rattling Jen a little because to her it comes out of nowhere.

She answers anyway, her voice sounding a little too adoring for her not to think _‘eww’_ mid-sentence, saying, “she’s a really incredible person. She’s made my life so much better – made my _son’s_ lives so much better. I don’t know what we’d do without her.”

“She is rather amazing” he responds, already looking a little more settled.

“Yeah, she really is” Jen says, and she knows she’s wearing her fucking ‘I’m talking about Judy’ grin again.

Abe looks at her like can see right down into her soul, like can see past all her inner bullshit to some deeper truth. _Urgh what the fuck has Judy done to me?_ Obviously, whatever he sees he finds comforting because his concern seems to drop, and he’s offering her a gentle smile before speaking again.

“Are you sure you’re not together?”

Jen is thrown once again. _I literally just told you that we’re fucking not?_ She can’t grasp why he would be asking again, doesn’t really know how else to explain that they’re not without being rude.

It’s one thing to scream in Lorna’s face but Judy actually likes this guy, and Jen sort of does too, and the last thing she wants to do is hurt either of them.

She’s honestly more confused than she has been since Henry first asked all those months ago.

He’s looking at her like he really cares, something only Judy really ever does anymore, and no matter how messed up she feels, she really needs to restrain herself. She decides to try to explain in the gentlest way she can. _Don’t fucking swear at Judy’s favourite person in the whole fucking world okay, Jen?_

“Well, yeah? Of course. I mean, wouldn’t I know if I was in a relationship with someone? We’re friends. Best friends, sure, but just friends. She’s my favourite person and I guess I’m hers, except maybe you, but honest. I don’t have feelings for her like that.”

She blames her nerves on having to actually speak an entire sentence without cursing or lashing out. _I get why Charlie's always complaining when I try to police his language, this is so fucking difficult._

Abe reaches over the table, gently placing his hand on hers and looking deep into her eyes.

“Then you should probably tell her that”.

_Why the fuck do I need to tell Judy that we’re friends?_

“What… erm, do you mean?”

“Look, sweetheart” he starts, still looking at Jen as softly as possible to try to stop her from freaking out. Judy’s told him enough for him to know he doesn’t want to see her when she’s angry. “You said other people have thought that you were together before right? And you’ve always corrected them.”

“Yeah they’ve seen how close they are, or seen us with the boys and assumed” Jen automatically responds, mind going blank.

“Well, I’ve never met you before. I’ve never seen the two of you together. I only know Judy. I only know what Judy herself has told me about the two of you. And I thought that you two were the most loved up couple under the sun.” He pauses, trying to let that sink in for a second. “What does that tell you?”

“Judy thinks we’re together??” Jen questions immediately. Sometimes when your mind is blank, things fall into focus.

“Judy thinks you’re together” confirms Abe.

The blonde feels tears pooling in her eyes but her brain hasn’t quite caught up with why yet.

“But... how? Why?” she says, pulling an incredulous face. “We’ve never even kissed, let alone had had sex.”

Jen flinches when she realises she's just brought up sex with a guy old enough to be her grandad (well sorta… she’s not that old, thank you), but Abe takes it in his stride, chuckling a little at her reaction.

“Like that is the most important part of a relationship. I didn’t have sex for the last 15 years of my marriage. Didn’t make us any less in love, or make it any less painful when I lost her” he shares.

Jen considers what he’s saying, but really she’s a little in shock from the idea that _Judy thinks they’re a couple._

“What the fuck do I do?” escapes her lips before she can censor herself.

If Abe keeps looking at her this kindly then the tears sitting in her eyes really are going to fall, and she fucking hates people that start sobbing in public. She’s always thought they’re trying to demand attention. Attention is the last fucking thing she wants right now.

Plus, it’s kind of starting to piss her off how Abe is looking at her like he knows something she doesn’t about herself, like he can see right through her, even though there really _isn’t_ anything to fucking see.

“Are you absolutely sure that you don’t like her? Because that is one wonderful gal right there. Anyone would be the luckiest person on earth to get to be with her.”

He pauses.

“And the way she talks about you, she really wants that person to be you.”

_What the fuck is happening._ “I…. erm – “

“Think about it. Please. Properly think about it before you do something stupid like tell her you don’t love her and break her heart. She’s already been through enough pain from that asshole Steve.”

Jen swallows. She really doesn’t know how to process her thoughts on the first half, but she does have an answer ready to go about _fucking Steve._ So, she goes with that, rolling her eyes at the idea of Judy’s ex.

“Urgh, don’t get me started on him. I hate him for what he did to her. You know there wasn’t a single piece of her in the house they lived in together for like 10 fucking years?”

Jen almost feels bad that she’s using ranting about the guy she killed to get out of talking about feelings, but it’s a great distraction so she pushes _that_ feeling aside too.

“I knew I liked you”, Abe says smiling. Jen happily returns it. _Mutual hatred is fun_. Abe can tell that she is avoiding the real subject, though, which is exactly the opposite of what he wants to happen – he needs her to really think about this.

“Don’t go letting me down now by hurting her unless you’re absolutely sure” he implores, looking right into her eyes to show how serious he is.

Jen sees it, sees that he really wants her to truly think about her feelings, thinks she even sees fear in his eyes. He’s probably scared she’s going to hurt Judy. Jen thinks she is too. But the seriousness makes her agree, makes her want to actually consider her feelings and not just push them away to manifest as anger as usual.

There’s one thing that she still really can’t get past though.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. I erm... I just…. She really likes me?”

“Yes, she does. And apparently everybody could see it apart from you” he chuckles. Jen’s grateful that Abe is just so loveable because anyone else she probably would’ve punched in the throat for laughing at her right now.

As it is, she sniggers a little, pushing gently against his shoulder.

The moment is quickly ruined when they hear Judy talking to someone, seemingly walking towards them down the corridor.

Jen’s eyes light up with panic.

Abe notices and immediately takes pity on her, giving her an out.

“You probably shouldn’t see her yet. Just in case you say something stupid.” He says, making her scoff a little, but she’s grateful. “I’ll go distract her and you sneak out that way, okay? You were never here.”

She quickly stands up, grabbing her things, rushing to say “thanks Abe. I can see why Judy loves you so much.”

“Me too” he replies a little pointedly. She feels a little dizzy with how fast she moves her head back to look at him, taking a deep shuddering breath in. That’s the most direct thing he’s said about how Judy feels. "I really hope you figure it all out."

Jen takes a half second, knowing Judy will be there any moment, swallowing deeply, and then hurries out the side door.

_I guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t fucking know anymore._

_This is going to be a long fucking day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left.
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments! I appreciate them all so much.


	6. Judy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this final chapter took so long, trying to keep this tonally the same as the rest of the story and not get too angsty was a little tricky.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 💖

By the time Judy gets home, Jen is a pacing mess in the kitchen, empty wine glass twirling in her hand. She sees Judy enter the room and has to look away, because god, Judy’s already smiling at her like she’s the fucking sun and _jeez, how fucking blind am I?_

“Oh hey” Judy says, and Jen barely acknowledges her. “Sorry I’m late, Abe kept me talking and talking”. Jen still doesn’t respond, so after a few seconds Judy adds, “Did I see you at my work earlier? I swear you were there. Or you have a secret twin.”

Jen freezes. _Of course, she fucking noticed I was fucking there, shit._

“Oh, umm, yeah. I came by to break you out, but you were busy, and I got talking to Abe actually instead.”

“Wow he’s had a busy day today. He didn’t mention it?” Judy pauses a second then seems to shrug it off, smiling, starting to ramble about her friend. “Isn’t he wonderful? I’m so glad you two have finally met. I don’t know what I’d do without him to talk to- “

“-yeah, yeah, great guy” interrupts Jen, talking a deep breath. “Listen Judes, we need to talk.”

Immediately, the other woman’s face is filled with concern.

“Are you okay?” she asks so genuinely it makes Jen want to scream. _Why does she have to be so fucking perfect all of the fucking time?_

“Yeah, of course. It’s just… wait, not like this okay?” Jen stops.

She doesn’t want to have this conversation leaning against the kitchen counter when Judy hasn’t even put her bag down yet. Plus, she’s going to take any extra second she can before she absolutely _has_ to start talking. She knows she probably should have waited longer, a few days, a week, more than a couple of hours, but now she _knows_ and the idea of waiting any longer is completely unbearable.

“Can we maybe go sit on our seat outside? I think I’m gonna grab some more wine too.”

Judy looks at her a little suspiciously, concern still etched on her face, which Jen hates because all that face should ever show is happiness, but she agrees.

“Umm, yeah, sure whatever you want. I’ll go put my stuff away and grab a blanket, meet you out there, okay?”, the brunette says, and she brushes her hand across Jen’s back as they pass each other to go carry out their tasks. Jen wonders _how the fuck she didn’t notice_ when her body lights up, finally paying attention to everything the other woman is doing.

 _You can do this Jen, it’s just Judy._ Jen relaxes a little at that though, but of course it doesn’t last. _Yeah, it’s just the most important person in your entire fucking life. Oh my god shut the fuck up, Jennifer, you’re making it worse._

She pours two very large glasses of wine.

Judy is waiting for her outside just like she said she would be. She’ been making such a point of keeping her word to Jen now that she isn’t lying to her anymore and Jen loves her for it, every time.

“Hey" whispers Jen, some of her internal tension just at seeing her friend’s face again.

“Oh hey. Come snuggle.” Judy responds, lifting the blanket next to her to give Jen space to slot in besides her. Jen slides into her normal position without thinking. _Do we always sit this fucking close?_ “Where are the boys by the way?”

“Oh, Chris picked them up from school and he’s gonna take them to Lorna’s for me. He owes me after I landed that big commission for us last week. I told him going back into business together would be worth it.” Jen doesn't add that she had to literally fucking beg him to do. She would do anything to avoid Lorna after their last conversation.

 _Fucking Lorna fucking thinking that Judy and I are together..._ Jen's internal anger is quickly on the rise at the thought of Lorna, until she remembers that them being together was literally the whole point of the issue and the conversation she was in the middle of trying to start.

She glanced at Judy, who was beaming at her, looking proud in a way that made Jen’s heart pound.

“Okay, conversation time.” _You can do this, Jen._

“Shoot", Judy tries to say reassuringly, obviously picking up some of the blonde’s nerves.

“Here goes nothing” Jen murmurs, and if Judy wasn’t basically melded into the side of her, she would have missed it. “So, I talked to Abe today?”

“Wait this is about Abe? I thought something was seriously wrong. You can’t scare me like that Jen!” Judy exclaims, latching onto Jen’s arm, relieved smile back on her face “What did he say?”

“Look” the blonde starts, so seriously that the smile vanishes. Jen turns her body so she can face Judy, pulling away slightly so she can really look at her through this. She moves her hands do to grasp the brunette’s, trying to let her know that she’s there, that it’ll be okay, no matter how this all turns out.

“I really need you to listen to everything I’m going to say and please try not to freak out or anything, okay, babe? Please?”

Judy just nods slightly and looks down. Jen can tell she’s scared now. _That makes two of us_.

“Okay so I met Abe. He’s just as wonderful as you said by the way", trying to bring back Judy’s smile just a little bit. It’s too soon for her to be frowning this much. “And he, erm, well, he said some things about you and me, about what you’ve told him about me"

“I haven’t told him about what happened with Steve if that’s what you’re worried about. I would never. I swear Jen-"

“I know you wouldn’t" Jen can’t help but smile at how _fucking adorable_ Judy is, even when she’s so concerned. _This is so hard._ “You’re like the most loyal, most incredible person in the whole world”

Judy actually beams at that, teasing. “Go on...”

“Yeah so Abe and I were talking about you and how amazing you are” Judy's smile increases, and Jen doesn’t want to continue. _Fuck why the fuck am I doing this._ “and he mentioned something about us being together…"

Judy freezes.

“Shit, Jen was I not meant to tell anyone?? It’s only Abe, I didn’t think it would be a big deal...”

“No, it’s not that. Its just... and I think I know now but I need to hear it from you before I do this… fuck, Judy, do you think we’re dating?

“Well, yeah?” Judy says, relaxing again a little.

Jen’s quiet for a moment, the silence so heavy, and she can tell the second her meaning sinks into Judy, her eyes going wide, tears already brimming, and then she’s rambling and tearing herself away from Jen’s arms, clearly working herself up, no matter how much Jen is trying to stop her.

“Wait, oh my god, have I got this whole thing completely wrong. SHIT, Jen, I’m so sorry -"

Jen’s heart snaps in two at the devastation in Judy's voice, exactly what she didn’t want to happen, and her whole plan for this conversation is out the window because she just needs to never see that look on Judy’s fucking perfect face ever again.

“- No! No! No, you haven’t at all Jude. I think I have…" interrupts Jen as fast as she can get the _fuck fuck fuck fucking shit abort_ out of her head.

Judy looks at her confused now, but at least some of the pain has gone from her face. Jen so desperately wants to abandon ship and somehow talk her way out of this, but Judy deserves her honesty, for her to be as honest as she possibly can.

“Look I, umm, this is so fucking embarrassing. Everyone has been fucking telling me for months that we’re basically married, and I’ve never paid any attention to it, never once really thought about it. I'm such an idiot. The boys and Chris and Karen, even fucking Lorna have all told me we’re together before and I always tried to set them straight.”

Jen looks down, grabbing Judy’s hand to play with. She doesn’t want to know what Judy’s face is doing now, knows she won’t be able to say all this fucking gross stuff if she sees more pain, and she really needs to get this out.

“But it wasn’t until I talked to Abe today that I realised that maybe you thought that too” and Judy is trying to pull away from her again, to move her separate their hands, but Jen can’t let her, wont let her pull away from her, not now.

“Fuck Jen I’m sorry I -"

“Don’t, please, let me carry on, okay?” _Deep breaths._ “I need to continue, okay? It's okay. Just listen.” She chances looking up at Judy’s face to offer her a tiny smile, trying to give some reassurance that it really is all okay, or at least that it will be.

She waits for Judy to slowly nod, and it takes a while but in the end she does. Judy isn’t looking at her anymore. Jen can’t tear her eyes away anymore though. She needs to see this, to remember it. There’s tears threatening to break Jen’s eyes, and she’s doubting she’s going to be able to get through this next part without crying, but maybe that is okay. _Jesus Jen, could you be any sappier._

“Abe told me how you talk about me, how you talk about us together, how he thinks you feel about me, and he told me not to fucking screw it up. I probably should have just come over to you right then instead of sneaking out like a fucking coward, but he wouldn’t let me. I think he was worried I’d do something idiotic like try to deny our relationship to your fucking face and break your fucking perfect heart”

Judy looks up, something like hope back in her eyes when she sees how earnest and loving and emotional Jen is looking at her. _I probably look so fucking disgusting with all this crying. Get it to-fucking-gether Jen._

“I’m the one that should be sorry. I am so fucking sorry that I was so oblivious, that I didn’t realise what every single other fucking person under the sun apparently did, including you, because of course you’re so amazing that you wouldn’t miss something as fucking huge as this.” Judy’s full on crying but looking up smiling, and there’s no way Jen is looking away now, not with Judy staring right into her soul like this.

“I love you, Judy” admits Jen, quietly, and it feels like it takes every ounce of courage in her entire being to get it out.

“I love you too” Judy says instantly, instinctively, like even now, when they both look like they’re about to throw themselves off a fucking bridge, there isn’t any other response she can give.

“No, I mean I’m in love with you. And somehow, I didn’t have a clue until this afternoon with Abe. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before. Even with everyone pointing it out to me, it still didn’t occur to me that maybe I really didn’t just love you as a friend but so much more than that.”

Judy is looking at her with such amazement, gigantic smile on her face, and it makes Jen want to continue pouring her heart out. Its like now she’s found this tiny bit of honesty she can’t make it fucking stop.

“I didn’t realise it until the idea of having to tell you that I wasn’t came into my head, of having to stand in front of you and break your heart. Because even the idea of hurting you like that made my whole-body ache with regret. I couldn’t do that to you. Trying to tell you that we’re not dating suddenly felt like the biggest fucking lie.”

Jen starts to feel herself crumble a little, feeling too vulnerable, like she’s admitted too much now and doesn’t know what to do with all these goddamn feelings in the air.

“Well, I’m pretty glad you didn’t lie” Judy says lightly, trying to keep the emotion she’s feeling out of her voice because she can tell Jen’s finding it all so hard.

She pulls Jen into her arms, holding her tight, trying to let everything that has just been said settle between them in the silence for a few moments, letting them both get their emotions under control.

Jen eventually pulls away, sitting back up and wiping her eyes. “Jesus, I must look like a fucking wreck,” she laughs.

“Hmmm, maybe, but you’re my fucking wreck” hums Judy, and Jen can’t stop the smile that breaks out on her face at the thought. She looks down, a little uncomfortable still from all the emotions flowing through her.

“I, umm, I’m really sorry if I’ve caused you any hurt this whole time because I didn’t know. I mean, I’ve known for all of like 3 fucking hours? And not being able to be with you for that long was like the most fucking painful thing on earth.”

“What? No! You didn’t hurt me at all. I kind of just thought we were happy and together and taking our time with it.”

Jen’s relieved, but she can’t help the guilt she still feels over making Judy wait so long. something occurs her, and she can’t stop herself from asking it.

“Wait, how fucking long have you known about us for? How long have you liked me?”

Judy shrugs, but her smile doesn’t lessen. Jen’s a little fucking jealous, that someone can be so comfortable in their feelings like that. “Since the beginning? Facts of Life, the beach, somewhere then?”

“And you really thought we were together this whole time?” Jen has to ask incredulously. The brunette nods. “God, Judes, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay” she responds, for once really meaning it.

Jen pulls Judy back towards her, holding her tighter, before her eyes widen in realisation and she’s pushing her away again. _I’m gonna give her fucking vertigo at this rate._

“Wait you actually thought I just wouldn’t have kissed you for an entire fucking year??”

Judy’s cheeks blush a little at that, and she tries to defend herself.

“I was letting you set the pace okay! After Ted and Steve and everything you know? I was trying to be respectful! You were really slowly opening up more and being more physically affectionate and asking me to sleep with you and everything. I thought it was this whole process!”

Her embarrassment might be the cutest thing Jen’s ever seen, smile so sickeningly big on her face. “You’re incredible, you know that.”

Judy clearly decides to push some of the embarrassment back onto Jen, turning her voice a little teasing to add “it’s not exactly like I was craving intimacy this whole time”. She gestures to Jen’s hands, who, in the five seconds since she let go of Judy, have already found their way to sitting on her thigh and to her hand, playing with Judy’s rings.

Jen scoffs, trying to play off that she’s annoyed with that accusation, but honestly, it’s too fucking true. “Ha, yeah, I guess I should really have noticed that we were far too close to be friends. Everyone else fucking did…”

She gets a laugh in response, but then the brunette clearly gets a little nervous again.

“So erm, you said you said that that everyone has been thinking that we’re together, and like, I obviously sorta did too, but you didn’t. So, umm, and it’s totally okay whatever you say, but, like, where does that leave us?”

Jen has to fight not to roll her eyes at herself. “I might not have realised it, but we’ve been dating for like an entire fucking year. Of course we’re fucking together, Judy. I love you.”

Judy beams, and Jen finds herself continuing, “I am so, so, sickeningly in fucking love with you.”

Jen knows they should probably kiss now. She can see in Judy’s face how much she wants it to happen, but knows that, despite, or maybe because of, how long she’s already waited, she’s going to make Jen make the first move.

Which is a problem, because Jen’s overthinking everything. Yes, she’s confessed her love, _knows_ that Judy is what she wants from life, knows that she needs to be with Judy. But there’s a huge part of her brain that still hasn’t quite reconfigured yet, that still sees Judy as her _best-friend_ , not someone she’s allowed to kiss now.

Kissing Judy for the most part still seems so weird, like she’d be doing something wrong, crossing a line.

But then Jen looks at the woman in front of her, who can’t seem to stop staring at her, feels their fingers playing together, feels her other hand digging into Judy’s soft thigh, actually lets herself feel all these new sensations adding up, and lets herself finally imagine what kissing Judy could be like.

She pictures Judy’s hand reaching up to hold her jaw, leaning in, all of Judy surrounding her as she finally gently lets their lips touch, and suddenly visualising isn’t enough.

Jen is soaring forward, leaning in far too eagerly, like a fourteen year old finally having her first kiss, and Judy is thrown back, barely escaping falling, having to adjust to keep them both upright on the couch, _trying_ to return the kiss but it’s just so ridiculous that she starts laughing against Jen’s lips, and eventually Jen pulls away.

“Eager, are we?” teases Judy, like Jen didn’t just completely fuck up their first kiss, but she’s grinning, and Jen is smiling, and Jen really can’t be annoyed, no matter how much she probably should be.

“It’s your fucking fault, sitting there looking at me, making me think things”

Judy bites her lip, and _oh Jesus fucking Christ that’s hot,_ and slowly leans in, bringing her hand up to Jen’s cheek, running her thumb across it, pausing right in front of her to whisper “let’s try that again”, before pushing forward and this, this is what actual fucking heaven feels like.

It’s so gentle, so filled with love and comfort that can only come with having known each other this long, after loving each other this long. It’s slow, Judy absolutely taking control after Jen’s train wreck, her lips so soft as she presses gentle kisses against them.

And then it’s like Judy can’t resist anymore, peaking a tongue out to run over Jen’s bottom lip. Jen’s mouth opens, of course, but Judy doesn’t become more aggressive, keeps it just as slow and gentle as before, practically caressing her tongue and _Oh, how the fuck am I enjoying anything this sweet this fucking much._

When they finally pull apart, Judy’s hand is still on Jen’s face, smiles on both their faces.

Jen looks away a little awkwardly with a “hmm,” as if her entire being hasn’t just been transformed. “I’m not gonna lie, I was really tempted to just jump your bones as soon as you walked through the door tonight and just see what happened. Kinda glad I didn’t now” and Judy laughs, moment broken.

“But I figured I should probably try to do some of this honesty stuff that you’re so good at nowadays. And Abe kinda scared me, to be honest” continues Jen, pulling a face at the end, trying to get Judy to laugh again so they can move past all the big emotional stuff.

“Well, thank you for that”, Judy responds, leaning in again to quickly kiss her, as if it’s something they do mid-sentence all the time. _Fuck, I hope it will be._ “I probably wouldn’t have thought anything weird about it if you had, though. Probably just ‘fucking finally’”, she tries in her very best, incredibly awful Jen impression.

Jen chuckles, trying her best to look insulted but it doesn’t work. _This woman is fucking ridiculous how the fuck am I so in love with her._

Judy starts to lean back in again – apparently now the floodgates are open, she’s going to make up for lost time. “I’m up for my bones being jumped anytime, baby.”

“Oh yeah?” _Fuck if this is what seductive Judy looks like we’re never leaving my fucking bedroom again._

 _“_ Yeah”, Judy breathes out, before their lips touch again.

*

A few days later, Jen and Judy are standing together in the kitchen getting breakfast and sandwiches ready like they would any other day. Really, nothing has changed, which surprises Jen for a second, when she feels so very different now, until she remembers that _this is why every other fucker already knew_.

They’re standing close, practically pressed against each other, Judy still taking every opportunity to steal a kiss now that she can.

Charlie appears in the room while they’re mid-kiss, bag already slung over his shoulder ready for school.

He clears his throat, making them pull their faces apart. Not that they actually move away from each other, the idea of not being in some contact with Judy fucking horrifying to Jen now.

“So, you guys aren’t a couple, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for sticking with this story, for all your comments and kudos and love!
> 
> This fic was only even meant to be an exercise to combat writer's block when I was writing my angst fic, seeing what writing the exact opposite of that story would look like, I'm so happy it turned into something!
> 
> See you all again soon 💖


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